Too raw

Im too raw. Thats what they say. Never in my face, maybe they dont want to hurt my feeling. But I think the same. I sing good, they say, I sing beautiful, oh I have the talent, but, there is always a BUT. But this, but that. And Im not trying to say that they are wrong, but my spirit feels discouraged sometimes.

But like I said before, I wont give up, If I do, is like letting my heart die, because music makes my heart beat. I will try again tomorrow. Wow, I was trying to sing a nice song that is very known now, No Air of Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, I love that song, and sadly I didnt get it right. For a moment I felt frustrated. I felt I wasnt born to sing. I felt so bad. But in my mind there was this voice that was encouraging me to keep on and that voice told me, dont worry you will do better tomorrow.

I wish I sang good and flawless tomorrow, but I know this takes time, effort, practice. And I have what it takes, but I need help. Its been so hard to look for someone who will want to help just because I cared for them. Sometimes in my mind I will feel desperation, but I cant let desperation control me, I have to control it. Im relying in the faith that sustained me before, hoping that soon help will come.

I love music, and I really want to sing, make people happy, take away their tears and draw smiles in their faces. I want this with all my heart. I desire this with fire.

Im just waiting for what I need, and while I wait, I will work for it, and I will never give up, I will try again tomorrow.

I want to be

Watching and listening to people sing, something came to my mind. I have a long road to walk, a very long road, I don’t have what it really takes to get to where my heart longs to be.

Since I was a little girl, I loved to sing. I will sing at school, at church, to my friends, and to my loved ones, I also had the dream of becoming a star. Growing up, a lot of people tried to discourage me, but I kept on.

I sang everywhere. In the churchs choir, at school, community activities. I never took a voice lesson nor music classes. I thought I knew everything I needed to know for singing. But now, In this right moment of my life, I realize that I don’t have what it really takes.

Im too shy

Im always off of tune

I cant remember a melody or tone

I just sing well, but I don’t know the most important things. I know some people went through what Im going through, and most of those people gave up. But I don’t want to be like them, I want to be like that group of people who didn’t give up because of what they didn’t know, but kept on trying to get where they wanted to be. I want to be part of that group that practiced till get a song better, I want to be part of that group who fought against the thoughts failure, discourage, sadness or maybe embarrassment.

I want to be part of the group who said, “Its ok If I didn’t do it good this time, next time I will be better”. I want to be part of them. I want to walk against the flow, I want to be different.

I WANT TO REACH MY DREAM.

I WONT ACCEPT DEFEAT OR FAILURE.

In the midst of all these bad thing that are in my way to reach my dream, I WONT GIVE UP, I WILL KEEP ON TRYING, I WILL GET BETTER, because I now that soon I will get there, I will get there, where my heart is longing to be.