Happiness & Joy

Happy is the word that describes how I feel. I never thought that the words that came out of my heart would be now songs with its own music. Never thought that all I've desired with my heart my whole life will become reality. Im recording my own music. It makes me happy. It makes me jump and shout of joy. My fiancee found this great group of guys who have their own band, and they are helping me out producing my music. I know recording the songs is not the end of my work and. I know that now is when I have to work harder. Get fans, gigs, supporters. I know I have to put all my heart in this and I will. I've never been so excited about music like I am now. I love music. Music runs through my veins. Music lifts up my soul. Music makes me forget about all the problems around me. Music, music, music. I know a artists life is not easy. I know they have to work hard, get up early, practice their singing, learn to dance, work out, etc. And I am willing to do it. I know its not easy to be away from family, but if I have to be away from them I will do it. It sounds HARD, but when you have a dream you have to give up things you like. Happiness and joy describes how I feel. Even in the midst of problems, happiness, and joy because I know God shines over me everyday helping me out with my dreams and goals. Happiness and joy. I wont give up, I will work harder everyday till I get there where I want to be. Never.Lose.Hope

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"Harder"

Everything gets harder time after time. Sometimes I just dont know what to do. I was born to be a star, I will show those who dont believe in me, that I have greatness, that I have what it takes. It has taken me long to write this, because sometimes is hard to share feeling when you think no one cares. But I have to open my heart and express what Im carrying inside my chest for a long time. Once I thought that to become a great artist was so easy, something like in the Fairy Tale Stories, that a nice Godmother comes and with her magic wand will make everything happen, but I've realized, life is not like that, you have to work very HARD to get where you want, and that I've learned, in the hardest way that I've learned. I had someone pushing me towards my own dream, but I realized it was wrong, and that I had to push myself, and now that Im doing it, things get even harder, harder that what I thought. I was recording my song in the studio, is in English, and well I was always used to sing in Spanish, and the experience has been good, but horrible in some way. I've left the studio hurt, just because he couldnt get work done during that day. And it really hurts. They doubted me, they thought I didnt have what it takes, but I opened my mouth and started to sing in spanish, and they believed in me. Even they believed in me, I've had a hard time to get my English song done. English, I love music in English, and well if its not English, maybe it wont sell that much. I want to sing in a lot of languages. I want to do great stuff with my music, and sometimes I wonder if I would get there. Finance maybe have been one little problem too. Thats why Im called Cinderella. Im coming from nowhere, from nothing because I want to be somebody. And not just a somebody that sings, but a somebody that impacts lives. It gets harder. It gets tougher. I cannot give up. I wont give up. And in spite that everything is harder I keep on believing in myself, that Im great, and that Im getting there where I want to

Too raw

Im too raw. Thats what they say. Never in my face, maybe they dont want to hurt my feeling. But I think the same. I sing good, they say, I sing beautiful, oh I have the talent, but, there is always a BUT. But this, but that. And Im not trying to say that they are wrong, but my spirit feels discouraged sometimes.

But like I said before, I wont give up, If I do, is like letting my heart die, because music makes my heart beat. I will try again tomorrow. Wow, I was trying to sing a nice song that is very known now, No Air of Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, I love that song, and sadly I didnt get it right. For a moment I felt frustrated. I felt I wasnt born to sing. I felt so bad. But in my mind there was this voice that was encouraging me to keep on and that voice told me, dont worry you will do better tomorrow.

I wish I sang good and flawless tomorrow, but I know this takes time, effort, practice. And I have what it takes, but I need help. Its been so hard to look for someone who will want to help just because I cared for them. Sometimes in my mind I will feel desperation, but I cant let desperation control me, I have to control it. Im relying in the faith that sustained me before, hoping that soon help will come.

I love music, and I really want to sing, make people happy, take away their tears and draw smiles in their faces. I want this with all my heart. I desire this with fire.

Im just waiting for what I need, and while I wait, I will work for it, and I will never give up, I will try again tomorrow.

I want to be

Watching and listening to people sing, something came to my mind. I have a long road to walk, a very long road, I don’t have what it really takes to get to where my heart longs to be.

Since I was a little girl, I loved to sing. I will sing at school, at church, to my friends, and to my loved ones, I also had the dream of becoming a star. Growing up, a lot of people tried to discourage me, but I kept on.

I sang everywhere. In the churchs choir, at school, community activities. I never took a voice lesson nor music classes. I thought I knew everything I needed to know for singing. But now, In this right moment of my life, I realize that I don’t have what it really takes.

Im too shy

Im always off of tune

I cant remember a melody or tone

I just sing well, but I don’t know the most important things. I know some people went through what Im going through, and most of those people gave up. But I don’t want to be like them, I want to be like that group of people who didn’t give up because of what they didn’t know, but kept on trying to get where they wanted to be. I want to be part of that group that practiced till get a song better, I want to be part of that group who fought against the thoughts failure, discourage, sadness or maybe embarrassment.

I want to be part of the group who said, “Its ok If I didn’t do it good this time, next time I will be better”. I want to be part of them. I want to walk against the flow, I want to be different.

I WANT TO REACH MY DREAM.

I WONT ACCEPT DEFEAT OR FAILURE.

In the midst of all these bad thing that are in my way to reach my dream, I WONT GIVE UP, I WILL KEEP ON TRYING, I WILL GET BETTER, because I now that soon I will get there, I will get there, where my heart is longing to be.